It's been about a year since we experienced our miscarriage. I kind of have mixed feelings about it lately. I just can't help but thank God that it happened, I know that sounds strange, but hear me out.. I keep thinking how hard it would be right now if we had another baby. We had no idea Annie would still have problems walking (or not walking, I should say), and we've recently let it sink in that she will have problems for a while. Could you imagine having a 2 1/2 year old AND a 5(ish) month old that don't walk? I can only imagine having twins, how hard that would be, but when one child is significantly larger, having to carry both would be nearly impossible. God knows when we are ready to bring another life into this world, and it will happen in HIS timing, not ours.
Ok, so now I'm going to explain. I am in no way saying I'm happy about miscarrying, we are still devastated over it and anyone who knows us, knows we want nothing more than to have children. It is our "calling." I am also not blaming Annie for any hardships in our life, she is such an amazing blessing and I wouldn't want her any other way. Lastly, I am not saying "God killed our baby"...
I don't believe God MADE this happen just for fun, but I believe (as always) He has made something good out of our pain. It isn't easy to accept that at the time it's happening, but looking back I can honestly say that God's got our backs. He knows what we need--- always! He has a good and amazing will for every single person, even that little baby.
We didn't lose a child; Heaven gained an angel. <3
When you start counting your blessings, and stop dwelling on the pain, you have an entirely different perspective on life. ALWAYS be thankful.
-XOXO
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